blur

the days and the weeks are starting to become one big blur
never a break
go go go
today i have to go and get film made for my book
this is terrifying because if there are any mistakes
any mistakes at all
it's too late
if something is out of allignment
or anything at all
i'ts too late
i guess that's the problem with doing such a complicated book
there are 100's of details to keep track of

so i have to go get film made before i go to class
and then wednesday we start stripping our film up
and the week after that we start printing
very exciting, very exciting

the big city

the studio tours were very interesting
the weather was miserable
lunch was delicious
i was really glad that i went
but it really messed up my schedule and my sleep
i had trouble sleeping the night before, my brain would NOT turn off
and i had to get up at 6 so that i could be downtown at 7:30 to catch the bus
the bus ride was about 2 and a half hours each way
because we got a pokey bus driver, who also got lost on the way home
it was a long day
and it has taken me a few days to recover from the sleep deprivation
between the lack of sleep lately
and not having a proper kitchen=not so healthy diet
and not having or making the time to go to yoga
i feel like i am not running under optimum circumstances
i feel like my brains aren't working right
i have much to do
i hope it's a productive day


KITCHEN UPDATE
cabinets are all installed
bought a new stove, and a new faucet
josh was able to rig up a temp sink
so we no longer have to wash our dishes in the utility sink in the basement
countertops (and sink) were measured for yesterday
and they said 2 weeks!
so we could have our new kitchen in 2 weeks!!
we still have to do lighting
and some wiring
and some painting
but, soon soon soon...

do or not do, there is no try

lucid, able to concentrate and focus
i don't know what the hell was wrong with me today!
i got a lot done
i was able to actuallty realize a few good ideas
i am armed and dangerous for tomorrow
nothing is perfect yet
but i feel as if i have had a growth spurt

i am reading the tao
i am throwing my thousand pots
(while gritting my teeth the entire time)

on tuesday we are going to the big apple
to visit some graphic design firms
it will be a long day
but, i hope it's interesting and maybe even fun
the only downside is that
"the one who's voice is like fingernails on a chalk board"
is acompanying us
and i hope that i don't snap and claw her eyes out

tomorrow i am submitting two thesis proposals

proposal #1
a re-exploration of my trip to indonesia
using my journals and the photos and ephemera i collected

proposal #2
this essay
where i would be very geeky and have fun charting and graphing
and using data to do fun and geeky stuff like this
could be a book or could be a web site
i might even get to use sparklines!

suck it up

i suck at type
or i just don't care
or these exercises feel futile or somehow un-goal oriented
or parameter-less
and therefore i don't care
or can't bring myself to care
or my brains are so scrambled that i just can't think right?
and so staring blanky at the screen is the end result
or obesesively playing tetris all afternoon
or throwing the tetris game across the room
and getting great satisfaction from the bashing and crashing sound it makes
i'm trying
i am
no REALLY

and as a study in contrast
everything else is going swimmingly
i think i will be done with my inteface design early
well before the thing is due
which is great because that will leave me ample time for bashing my head against the wall
and trying to come up with SOMETHING
that doesn't look like total CRAP
for design studio
what is my problem????!!!!!!
i know i can't really suck this bad

the halfway mark

7 weeks down and 7 weeks to go
i am feeling weary and sort of whiney
i'm ready for a break
a little break
just a little one?
and seemingly no end in sight
the light at the end of the tunnel is 7 weeks away
but, atleast there is a light at the end of the tunnel
it feels like there aren't enough hours in the day

there's no crying in graphic design

that's what i was saying to myself
as i started leaking and snotting all over myself friday
during my individual crit
it wasn't even a particularly brutal crit
he was being perfectly nice
but i was so frustrated with my own lack of progress
and ability to SEE

that i just started leaking
from utter frustration
i'm feeling better today
i knew it was too soon to declare contentment

content, is it possible?

i just don't have anything to bitch about
i really thought when i made this blog
that i would use it a a tool to vent my frustrations
but i don't have any
at least none that are more extreme than the usual garden variety
i feel pretty content, excited even about all my classes
and all my projects

i still struggle with type
that is definitely my weak area
i am strong in the image department
but,when it comes to typography
not so much

but i am working on it
working through it
i feel confident that i will get there
wherever "there" is
the place where expressive type runs free and un fettered

i have 3 days to wrangle me up some expressive type
wish me luck