suck it up

i suck at type
or i just don't care
or these exercises feel futile or somehow un-goal oriented
or parameter-less
and therefore i don't care
or can't bring myself to care
or my brains are so scrambled that i just can't think right?
and so staring blanky at the screen is the end result
or obesesively playing tetris all afternoon
or throwing the tetris game across the room
and getting great satisfaction from the bashing and crashing sound it makes
i'm trying
i am
no REALLY

and as a study in contrast
everything else is going swimmingly
i think i will be done with my inteface design early
well before the thing is due
which is great because that will leave me ample time for bashing my head against the wall
and trying to come up with SOMETHING
that doesn't look like total CRAP
for design studio
what is my problem????!!!!!!
i know i can't really suck this bad