last and least

last week i was last to "present" to out guest critics
because the week prior i had been first for review

we went in groups of 4
and they pored over the first 3 projects
making comments and suggestions
questioning content and context

i was last
and they spent about 2 minutes flipping through mine
they made a few helpful comments
and some not so helpful comments
that in retrospect didn't make any sense
because they hadn't actually read what they were responding to

but still.....
in the moment i was excited
and i felt like i was seeing it in a new way
and i felt like i had fresh new ideas about how to approach it
but after my initial excitement waned...

i realized "hey, wait a second"
they didn't even look at the damn thing
they skimmed over it and were out the door
i feel like i got shafted

in spite of my irritation
the past 3 days have been really productive
i have made a lot of revisions
and it continues to get tighter each week
there are still some things that need to be resolved
but i feel pretty good abut where i'm at

i always fear that i will lose my steam
get bored with the project and have nothing left to give
(as has happened in the past)
so i am grateful that i still have some juice left for this

really looking forward to the week off
and then a week of portfolio workshop
which will make the whole eventually being done thing
ever so much more real